How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
