You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize