just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
