mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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