i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
