Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
