I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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