he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
