He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize