There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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