I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
