About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
