pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
