if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
