Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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