i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
