it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Help me help you realize you are a moron
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
