to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
