Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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