I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
