garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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