seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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