i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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