i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
i've created a new STD.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
