if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
