i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
