Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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