Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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