In the future we'll all be gay
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize