It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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