Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
