Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
