did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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