she woke up with a sticky ear
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
