so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
