i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I want to fling myself into the sun
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
