i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize