Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize