I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
