At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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