just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
