I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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