Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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