i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
