We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize