Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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