do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
