last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize