you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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