its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
