The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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