i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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