She said her name was "party"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
