gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
