My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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