yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We had to coat check the pizza.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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