all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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