Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh god it's open bar.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
