dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
