It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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