i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
