i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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