YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
