How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
accomplished twins. life is a go
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My vagina is officially offended.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
