3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
