Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
My breath smells like gin and sadness
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
