i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
