It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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