My sheets look like a crime scene.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
