You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
