i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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