someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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