Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
