Say something about gay babies.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
