Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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